Food for Thought - Series 1


Pain is a well of opportunities.

Disappointment breaks your shell of understanding.

Tragedy is the magic that creates beauty out of ashes.

Who's rules is it anywayz?

Setting: One morning on a very bad day, I was supposed to meet somebody at Dubai Municipality. This happens to be located in the most congested area in the U.A.E. so the experience comes with the most frustratingly hopeless parking process in the world, complemented, of course, with the effects of the desert midday heat.

Scene 1: After a semi-sun stroke, I decided I was not going to park anywhere beyond two minutes from the building, even if it took me all day – not that I had all day, but oh well. I finally decided to pretend I was meeting somebody in the Intercon next door, have my car valet parked and then walk out of the back door to the municipality *evil grin.* As if reading my mind, the valet attendant warned me I had to stamp my valet ticket from any of their outlets or else I would pay AED 37 (I would love to know how they arrived at a figure that specific!). I did everything possible to explain to him the defects of that as a control: What if I meet somebody in the lobby? What if I’m meeting somebody in your offices? What if somebody else paid for my lunch? No avail.

Scene 2: I then decided to buy a small bottle of water for AED 5 to get my ticket stamped. Half way through, I discovered I was drinking Evian, i.e., a bimbo rip-off that cost me AED 15 instead.

Master Scene: Still maintaining composure, I finally made my much yearned for entrance into the main building and asked the seemingly polite building receptionist, who just smiled at the man who left before me, for directions to the person’s office. Apparently allergic to women, she made fun of my accent in pronouncing the guy’s name, told me I had better have an appointment and screeched “it’s the door on the left!.” For complete picture’s sake, she happens to be the information desk, i.e., not the person’s personal secretary; she does not keep his daily agenda and does not even control who comes in or out of the building. Secondly, she happened to be pointing to the right of the building where there was no door. Still smiling, I politely pointed to the left and said, “You mean that door on the left?” She gave me a look that made me feel I had a dunce cap on, pointed again to right and said “No that one on the left – over there!! Can’t you see?!” Then, reading my confused face, she snapped at the security, “Brother, please take her there!” Enter the security guard, who takes hurt and confused Amy to the door she was ORIGINALLY pointing to ON THE LEFT.

Behind the Scenes: Angry Receptionist is going through a serious personal crisis. She is unappreciated at home, let alone work. Probably married, she is lonely, unhappy and stressed out to make a living to meet her expenses or she will have to go through a bitter time with her husband for extra cash. Work is monotonous and doesn’t pay too well but it’s the only job she fits with her current qualifications. The sight of other seemingly happier women makes her bitter and resentful about the wrong choices she made or was forced to make.

Climax Scene: Guard brings Amy out into an open space and points towards the middle and says “it’s the building over there.” I decided to use the process of elimination again to avoid offending him: “You mean that building on the right?” He yelled at me and said, “No THERE, the SMALL ONE on the left!” and walked away frustrated. Needless to say, there was no SMALL office on the left.

Behind the scenes: Angry Guard misses his family back home. People told him this place was a gold mine but he is broke again this month. He discovered some cheap alcohol stalls in satwa, not to mention the cigarettes – loneliness sometimes gets the best out of him. He still managed to get his daughter to go to school, but he hasn’t seen her for the past five years. He’d rather send her the money rather than buy himself a plane ticket.

Final Scene: Angry Amy on the way to HR Director’s office (the person she was originally supposed to meet) seriously pondering reporting Angry Receptionist and Angry Guard but deciding not to because of a sudden guilt streak. She didn’t see behind the scenes but remembered her valet ticket. She just had her go at breaking the rules too -and for reasons that couldn’t be more pathetic - but being an average member of the corporate world, she got out clean.


Food-for-thought: Sometimes people play the same game but with different rules. You don’t win because you played by the rules. You win because your rules were chic.

Amywayz

I have had this blog space ever since August 2005 but never used it because I was always trying to pin down my blog-perspective into entertaining and understandable material. Often when pondering about funny, serious, world or personal issues that will take a lot of patience to change, I reflect for a while, make a mini conclusion and then write it down to read when I need to maintain my sanity. Although I called this series “Food for thought,” I originally planned to call it "Anywayz."

The term "anywayz" normally occurs to me when I am in the middle of a friendly argument or conversation where I agree to disagree – internally or externally - because I realize we’re at a point where we both can’t really do much to penetrate each other’s minds or views. Human Psychology hasn't been completely fathomed as yet by the world's greatest scientists and so murmuring “Anywayz” just ends the possibly infinite dialogue while still respecting our differences.

While this blog may not discuss rocket science nor current world affairs, it does always promise a "matter-of-fact-food-for-thought-anywayz" message and tone. If you're into comic strips, this place is for you. Comic artists are actually the few gifted ones who see just the right color of the other side of the lawn. I was recently looking at the work of some of the world’s renowned cartoon geniuses about topics like the mess in Iraq, the gay marriage bill, the cartoons in Denmark etc. and could not help admiring their ingenuity and preciseness. Later on, one comic strip enraged me because it was so offensive to Christianity. The artist then responded to his angry audience by making some serious, convincing points about the world’s common perception of religion. I was impressed by the depth and also shocked at how applicable it was to my life but did not respect the technique. However, it was exactly "food-for-thought- anywayz" material. I chose to store it in my mind but maybe not on my laptop.

Having laid the setting, perhaps now is an appropriate time top define Amywayz:

(n). Derivative of Anyway. "An "anywayz" thought generated by Amy and commented upon by fellow bloggers, after which the blog community, including Amy, store them away in the archives – of their blogs and/or their minds – and move on anyway… "

Besides publishing some of my "Anywayz/Food For Thought" writing please expect coverage on ‘anywayz’ politics, ‘anywayz’ peace treaties, ‘anywayz’ leaders, ‘anywayz’ conference calls and round table meetings in the corporate world(Dilbert?), and the ‘anywayz’ head-nodding, never-changing majority of the public in a culture saturated with Dr. Phils and Oprahs . Sadly sometimes the term "anywayz" also becomes the cliche to "Yea, it’s the way things are, but now lets get back to our black- boxes to survive..."

Should you have found this remotely entertaining, please do come back when you’re in an “anywayz” state and I promise you will not be disappointed. If not, you could still click next and perhaps murmur ‘anywayz…’ as well :)